Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Merry Christmas AGAIN

Here's a great quote from Neale Donald Walsch (gotta love this man!) You can subscribe to his daily messages at http://www.nealedonaldwalsch. com

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know...

....that the birth of God's son is celebrated today.

Yes, I know, you think that Christmas is over. The day

has passed. But the birth of God's son--and God's

daughter--is celebrated every day. For every day on

which a child is born, God's Child is born.

You and I are as much God's Begotten as Jesus. And

Jesus would be the first person to tell you that. Indeed,

has was a person who told us that.

The Christ is born in all of us this day, and these are glad

tidings of comfort and joy.

Love, Your Friend....

Every human being has a soul that is an extension of God. It is the pure energy of Love, which IS God. Even the most despicable person on earth has the spirit of God inside him/her. They just don't recognize it. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love them. He does! And that's what should make it easy for us to love our enemies. When you do ANYTHING to or for another living person, you are doing it TO God. Which is why Jesus said "Love your Enemies."

God always was and always shall be. He cannot be destroyed, just like energy can never be created or destroyed. When someone dies, their spirit, or energy, simply withdraws from a body that no longer works. There is no death of the human spirit, which IS the spirit of God. Just the body, which is no more than clay.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

About Death

This topic seems weird, I know, just after a joyful Christmas, but one of my friends from a list I am on is dying. She has been in the hospital. I think, for over a month. I don't know exactly how she came to be so sick, but I do know that she and I share diabetes as an disease. I'm guessing that she is suffering from some complication due to that.

She had been in the ICU for a long time, then a couple weeks ago she came out into the regular floor. The past couple of days she has gone back to the ICU and her lungs are failing. Much of this time she has been unconscious and infrequently able to talk to her family and doctors.

What we have in common is that P is also a mother of a large adoptive family with special needs children, much like mine, with children and adult children who have intellectual disabilities like Down Syndrome. But P is also a single mom. Her own mother is taking care of the children right now, but without a dad around I can't imagine what the children are going through, or what will happen to them.

Please pray for P and her family. She can still make it with prayer.

I've been thinking a lot about what I would like to happen if I become deathly ill.

I want prayers, but specifically for my family. I know I will be fine. I am not afraid of dying one whit. I look forward to living in heaven. Not that I want to die now, but that I am 100% comfortable in the knowledge of the Love of God. I want reasonable efforts made toward saving my life, but I do not want every life sustaining measure exhausted, nor do I want to rack up a bazillion dollars in medical bills that will live on after me. That's not the legacy I want for myself: huge monetary debt.

If the doctors think I am at the end, then so be it.

My love for my husband and children and friends will continue from heaven, which I am 100% certain is an actual place. I don't want a funeral or a viewing. I want a celebration of my life only, and THAT should be a big party, more like an old fashioned wake.

What exactly do you want your family to do if you become desperately ill? Have you told them? Please leave comments.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning

Here are some pix from Christmas Eve at our house.

Jay and Emily

Jeff, Wendy, Jennifer, Meghan, grandson Sean

Ross and our grandson Alec

so- in-law Darren


Mom and Justin

Justin, Danielle and Jeremy


Emily, Danielle and Jonathan

Danielle and Jay

Christmas Morning Aftermath

Apologies to Matthew, who somehow avoided the camera altogether!

Thanks to some wonderful friends and family a great time was had by all!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Eve Thoughts and Praise

from Neale Donald Walsch, another thought provoking quote:

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know...

....that this is the eve of the birth of the Christ in you.

It is a re-birth, of course, for the Christ/God has always been

there. On this special eve, may you experience that

Presence in you, as you, through your sharing of the

love that has been brought to you directly from God.

The wonderful gift of Christmas is that it is not a one

day or one time experience, but lasts the whole year

through -- thanks to you. You are the gift, and as

you give, so shall you receive.

Love, Your Friend....

This quote rings true this year so very much. We had NO money for presents this year, and all nine kids, who are developmentally delayed, were going to be sorely disappointed this Christmas day. I mean we are just squeaking by, not able to even pay our homeowner's insurance and even this month probably not able to pay our mortgage payment, either.

I had asked a couple friends, particularly Karen, and my daughter, Meghan, to ask their friends if they had any used clothing or dvds, etc, that they were going to throw out, if they would instead donate them to us to use as Christmas gifts. I was hoping for just one thing that we could wrap

Well those folks told other folks and the ball started rolling. And I mean it rolled across the country. I've gotten calls from 1500 miles away from people wanting to send us their used toys and clothes. This was pay it forward in motion.

We have received bags and boxes of clothing, I mean tons. My dear daughter Wendy has gone through all the bags sorting out which of the nine kids could use a certain item. This has taken a lot of work, there was so much of it! We owe Wendy, Meghan and Karen a big THANK YOU!

Karen told the therapeutic riding center, and they spread the word. They brought us a lot of WRAPPED gifts, and I'm guessing they are actually new things. They are a non profit, and I have a feeling that they spread the word to some of their supporters.

One lady who works in Meghan's office donated a perfectly good laptop computer! And yesterday we received a FEDEX envelope with a gift certificate for $500 to Publix grocery stores from someone we have never heard of.

So this quote from Walsch means a lot to me. This Christmas season has shown God/Christ's spirit in action. It was those friends and relatives who spread that God spirit throughout the country.

In turn, I am 100% positive that all those who gave and those who helped spread the word will be truly blessed this year. And at a time when we thought nobody really cared about us, we have found that we have true friends everywhere.

All my love for you all, and Merry Christmas,


Friday, December 12, 2008

I'm Probably Lying

In a bag of donated clothes today we found two t-shirts. One says "I'm probably Lying" which I would dearly love to give to Jeremy. It fits him. I'm thinking it's probably not a good idea to send him to school in that, though, right? I can just see them now "What a HORRIBLE thing to put on a child's T-Shirt!"

And then for Will we found "I'm not trying to be difficult...It just comes naturally."

There was anther T-shirt with a squirrel on it that said "Watch Your Nuts." It was too small for Dad. :)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Hapiness is Good Health and A Bad Memory

New Neale Donald Walsch post I needed today

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know...

....that happiness is good health and a bad memory.

Ingrid Bergman said that, and it is so true. Memories,

of course, bring up moments that are past, whereas

happiness is always found in the moment that is here,


Constantly remembering bad things, or sad things, can

rob you of your present -- that is, your pre-sent -- joy.

Happiness has been sent to you in advance by God. It

is here, in this moment, if you will seize it...and share it.

As an adoptive parent of a large number of special needs children, I need to be reminded of this often.

Friday, December 5, 2008

I'll miss George Bush

Say what you will about George W. Bush, we're gonna miss him. Why? Well he's kept us laughing for 8 years. Like him or hate him you just have to laugh at some of the things he has said. Like these:

1. The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.

2. If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

3. Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

4. No senior citizen should have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.

5. I believe that we are on an irreversible trend toward freedom and democracy, but that could change.

6. 'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.'

7. 'Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.'

8. 'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.'

9. 'The future will be better tomorrow.'

10. 'We're have the best educated American people in the world.'

11. 'One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.' (during an education photo-op)

12. 'Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.'

13. 'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'

14. 'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'

15. "I stand behind all the misstatements I have made."

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Ross and stuff

Ross, 16, went back to the ER and was admitted again on Monday night. He's becoming a frequent flyer. Due to his Spina Bifida and neurogenic bladder he has a tendency toward kidney failure, so at the slightest hint of a urinary tract ifection he has to go in for IV antibiotics. He' been very good about cathing every four hours since the last time, and he uses antibiotic hand cleaner before he does it, but still he gets these infections.

He's waiting on the MD to come in and free him today.

I don't know what's up wih this hospital, though. It's one of America's top rate hospitals, yet...

When I went to see him Tuesday AM nobody had changed his diaper since he was brought in at 7 PM the night before. He was soaked, his shirt was soaked and his bed was soaked.

They did not have latex free catheters anywhere in the hospital, so I had to bring in some. The nurses kept forgetting to tell him it was time to cath, so he was going hours and hours without it.

He's paraplegic, so his butt was red and getting very sore, so I brought in my own butt cream to save him from urine burns. Theydidn't have any on the peds floor! Huh?

Then I got a call at home asking us to bring in all his meds. Oh they had them at the pharmacy, but it was cheaper for them I guess if we brought in our supply.

So he'll come home at 2 today, and we'll probably spend tomorrow and the weekend clearing up his red behind.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving History

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there. Sorry I haven't posted of late. Not much news here.

This article from the New York Times corrects our mistaken history about the first American settlors (I mean European settlers to America, not the obvious first Americans, the native Americans.)

About 50 year before the Mayflower settlement. a group of French people came to Florida seeking religious freedom., They were Calvinists, which means their religious persuasions were more like Presbyterian than much of anything else. They landed in Florida, which was claimed by Spain. So the Catholic King of Spain sent soldiers (sailors?) to Florida to kill them all, calling them Lutherans, which meant anything other than Catholics. These were probably the first European settlors of the new land.

That kind of sets the tone for all the injustices that have been done since in this country under the guise of religion. For instance, in Florida, it is perfectly alright for a homosexual couple or individual to be foster parents. But if they want to adopt those children they have come to dearly love, then they are out of luck.

Mississippi allows a single gay or lesbian person to adopt, but not a homosexual couple. Huh?

Seems to me that a loving gay couple is a LOT more stable than the average of 7 foster homes a kid gets here before he either is adopted or ages out at 18 onto the streets.

But Happy Thanksgiving, folks. It's going to be very interesting to see what happens in 2009, isn't it?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Baby Bumblebees

Grandsons #3 and #4 being bumblebees for Halloween. Liam is 3 and Lucas is 6 months.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Only Five Kids

My husband took 4 of our kids to the special olympics state bowling tournament. That left me with five kids for the weekend-only one of whom is a known troublemaker. And that one kid was perfect, except for refusing to get a shower each day, but I pick my battles, and that was not one I picked.

Things have gone so smoothly and I spent a lot of time with just Emily, who is a real sweetie.

I appreciate this smaller family time. Well, I guess five kids only smaller to other megafamilies. But sometimes I think that I couldn't ever get along without my husband's help. But this weekend changed my mind...a little...

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Choose Foreclosure

In this economy, it just might not be a bad idea to walk away from a mortgage. Here's an explanation of why that is.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Poll: Are you Losing Your Home? Can you afford your home?

Adoptive parents of large numbers of adopted special needs children need large houses. Large houses come with large mortgages and large payments. When the economy tanks, some of us lose our homes.

I've set up a poll---> over there in the right column> Where you can anonymously give us an idea of how bad the problem is for large families.

If you have a blog, please post a link to this poll as well.

I don't think I'm alone in having trouble meeting my mortgages payments with the rise in food and gas cost and the general downturn in the economy...AM I???

Monday, October 20, 2008

Today's message from Neale Donald Walsch is on how to create peace in your life and the world:

>>On this day of your life, my friend, I believe God wants you to know...

...that peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek,

but a means by which we arrive at that goal.

Martin Luther King Jr. said that, and he was right. And

his wisdom holds true not only for peace in our world,

but for peace within ourselves.

All of our spiritual traditions teach the same thing. To

achieve peace, be peace. Yet how does one be what one is wishing to experience? By a sheer act of Will.

And...by causing others to experience what you wish

to experience.<<

A peaceful life cannot come from a mind that is angry or has lost hope. There is ALWAYS hope! If you want peace you must formulate it in your everyday life, starting with your mind.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Mental and Physical Weeding Out

On a mailing list I belong to, the topic has been cleaning out rooms. Someone suggested that they want a dedicated records room.I don't need a records room, but I do need a secretary. We have about a dozen boxes in our bedroom with records that my husband says he'll go thru. He doesn't know how long he should keep paper records. I tell him, I'm pretty darn sure it's not 40 years.

As someone who has had to go through my grandmother's house and choose what to keep and what to toss, I'm constantly aware at 61 that someday my own children will have to sort through our stuff and make those kinds of decisions. I know how difficult it is, especially at a time when you are missing that person. That's a very hard thing to have to do, and I don't want to pass on that core to my kids.

We have so many things that we've saved that nobody but us would have any interest in. A Phi Sigma Kappa throw pillow from 1966, the big sister gift I got from my Alpha Sigma Tau big sis. TV scripts I wrote in junior high for the show Bonanza for fun. The second Sunbeam hand mixer we got as a wedding gift in 1968 and never opened....

As for old photos, we started out in 1968 taking slides instead of pix. A lot of those slides are worthless now. Nobody, including me, has a slide projector anymore and we don't have the energy or money to send them off to be copied onto a CD. Kindof like the ancient wire recording my brother has of the voices of my maternal grandmother, my mother and father... Now there was a short lived technology.

We have two big plastic storage containers, the kind you put Christmas stuff in for storage, filled with photos. I use those for storage because at hurricane time I can duct tape them up securely so they won't leak (hopefully) and write our names, address and phone numbers in case of a hurricane where we might get wiped out.

I had spent a lot of time scanning photos and storing them on my hard drive, but I didn't get real far-it's a major time consuming chore. My oldest said, why bother. When we are gone they'll just sort them out and distribute them. But my mama's heart says, yeah, but will you be able to tell the baby pix of one of the 21 kids, one from the other? My husband can't even do THAT. I can!

And what about the antiques that I have kept to be handed down to my grandchildren. None of them worth a whole lot. A little book from 1832, owned by my poor great great grandmother, Margaret Clark who died of childbed fever in 1850, with her signature? Or the ancient prayerbook and bible from Scotland owned by another ancestor. Will anyone care enough to keep them in the family or will they toss them as "old books" or sell them on ebay? I shiver at that thought!

When it comes down to it, all the things that I have found to be important enough to keep, probably won't be important enough to save by the next generation. I find that incredibly sad. I have a beautiful gold expansion bracelet with a hidden picture thing that my great grandmother gave to my grandmother at the turn of the century (that is 1899-1900. I've cherished that, and I want to pass that down to a female descendant that I will probably never meet (so far my kids have produced only boys.) Will there be children that will respect my wish?

But when it comes down to it. I'll be in heaven having a good ole time. I'll have no use for those things in heaven. And I just have to let go of emotion about old stuff I've kept over 61 years and trust that someone will have a heart for at least a few of them.

So, knowing that someday one of my kids is going to have to go through mountains of things we've kept over the years, it is MY responsibility to at least narrow that down to a couple boxes of things I think need to be passed down. And to label as many pix as I can!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Large Adoptive Family Cr*p

I know, I haven't posted in a couple weeks. Been busy. Mostly with the usual large adoptive family stuff, oh, you know, like CPS, kids behaving badly, house payments getting to be too much for us, my husband's hours being severely cut back at work...you know...THE USUAL CR*P.

I wonder if we would have signed on for this journey if we had known the hardships it would entail. Of course there is no way of knowing. And for a large family inclined mama nothing generally gets in her way.

Then we found out that the legal plan that we had on good authority would help us in case of CPS involvement really didn't. We were lied to by the people who said they were the administrators of the national foster and adoptive parents legal plan. Turns out that the FOSTER part was true, but not the ADOPTIVE. And the people who sold it to us were not even currently agents. I think they probably were when they sold it to us.

Now we've gotten a lot of use from the legal plan. It just wouldn't help us in a CPS investigation like we'd been told. Looking into alternatives.

This afternoon I was back in my bedroom, while my husband was cutting the grass and my adult daughter, who works for us, was with the kids in the playroom, Jeremy, who wanted to go outside with his dad (which no child here is allowed to do when the mower is running) ripped the molding that holds the glass in the one double door at the front of the house and dismantled it. QUIETLY.

Thank heaven we had years ago replaced three other similar french doors and had not gotten around to throwing the old ones out. So DH can take the molding off those doors to repair that one. But...come on now. It wasn't bad enough that he systematically dismantled his own bedroom door, broke a couple windows, banged multiple holes in the walls. Yet, I'm certain that we'r not alone in the home-destructiveness of a couple kids who have been adopted. I read Cindy's blog daily. I know it!

As for the CPS thing. It was stupid, and nothing will come of it. But CPS is NEVER pleasant to deal with.

I'm managing to stay very positive minded, though. I know in my heart that God has better things in store for us, and that we can ride out the bad. Together, we've always made it before and will again.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wasilla Alaska

I see from sitemeter that I have a visitor who lives in Wasilla, AK. Welcome. Are you an adoptive parent? I'd never heard of Wasilla until a few weeks ago.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Homeschooling in CA

I got this link from a friend...

>>(NaturalNews) A California appeals court has ruled that homeschooling of children is illegal unless their parents have teaching credentials from the state.

"California is now on the path to being the only state to deny the vast majority of homeschooling parents their fundamental right to teach their own children at home," said Michael Smith, president of the Home School Legal Defense Association.

The court overturned a lower court's finding that homeschooling did not constitute a violation of child welfare laws.

"California courts have held that ... parents do not have a constitutional right to homeschool their children," Justice H. Walter Croskey said.

The decision stunned parents of the state's roughly 166,000 homeschooled children. While the court claimed that it was merely clarifying an existing law and not making a new one, the decision leaves the parents of homeschooled children at risk of arrest and criminal prosecution.

"At first, there was a sense of, 'No way,' " homeschool parent Loren Mavromati said. "Then there was a little bit of fear. I think it has moved now into indignation."

Parents' reasons for homeschooling their children range from religious beliefs to dissatisfaction with the education received at public or private schools. But according to the court, all California children between the ages of 6 and 18 must attend either a full-time public or private school or be taught by a tutor credentialed for their specific grade level.

"A primary purpose of the educational system is to train school children in good citizenship, patriotism and loyalty to the state and the nation," Croskey wrote.

California's largest teachers union welcomed the decision as did the Children's Law Center of Los Angeles.

According to the law center's executive director, Leslie Heimov, children should not be educated at home, because they need to be "in a place daily where they would be observed by people who had a duty to ensure their ongoing safety."<<

Uhhhh...who has the highest desire to ensure their children's safety?? PARENTS, DUH- My daughter with Down Syndrome walked away from her classmates as they went to the auditorium yesterday. They found her outside sitting down out on the track. That wouldn't have happened with ME in charge of her.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Lapsed Ideals

I've forgotten my own rules that I learned from The Secret and the Law of Attraction. . I know that this message is 100% true, but I haven't been following it the past week or two. I am now.

I had fallen into the habit of letting negative political talk on my favorite mailing list get to me. And I've felt the need to reply to those negative posts. I was wrong, and I'm deeply sorry. One will always be exposed to words that anger us. And those negative thoughts, whether spoken or read, go out in the universe and bring negative things into your own life.


Speaking or emailing negativity only produces more negativity in one's life. Listening to, reading, or replying to negativity only produces negative situations in your life.

What is the answer to every difficult circumstance in life?

Take the positive path.

Choosing the positive path can be easy at some times in our life and more difficult at other times. When everything is going along well, when we are on a roll, choosing the positive path just flows through us as an easy, natural choice. When something negative comes along it can be far more challenging for us to choose the positive path.

But choose it we must! No matter how challenging the negativity may be, there is simply no other way to bring our lives back into positivity so that our lives will

If negative situations appear, you must use your will and refuse to lower yourself to those negative thoughts, words, actions, and emotions. Use your will and decide that not only will you focus on the positive, but you will ramp up the positive in every thought, word, and action of your day.

It takes determination, strength, faith, and the power of your will to focus on the positive when intense negativity descends, but remember that the Universe and the law of attraction are with you.

As you focus on the positive, focus more on the positive, think of the positive, speak of the positive, and take positive and good actions, the law of attraction will give your life wings. Suddenly you will look around you and you will find that the negativity has gone, and that your life has been filled with goodness and joy.

And that's where I'm going to be from now on.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Slaves to What You Don't know

I don't know how he does it but the daily emails I get from Neale Donald Walsch are amazingly appropriate for whatever I'm thinking about. Here's today's email:


On this day of your life, (my name), I believe God wants you to know...

...that you are slaves to whatever you don't understand.

Vernon Howard said that, and he was right. So do not

avoid hearing, or even studying, other points of view.

Indeed, do so rigorously.

The more that you oppose

something, the more you will benefit from looking into

it deeply -- with an open mind, not cynically.

This is excellent advice right now if you live in the

United States and are deciding upon a person for whom

to vote in the upcoming election...

Love, Your Friend....

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Election 2008

I'm a mother of a large adoptive family with special needs kids. I'm a Christian. So why am I voting for Obama?

I didn't want to go into that here on this blog, so I started another. I have taken the info from each candidate's webpage and compared what they have to offer. It's easy reading as I've cut to the chase on each issue. My info comes directly from McCain's an Obama's webpages, and from the candidates' voting records.

If you haven't taken an in depth look at the candidates' stands on the issues, then this is an easy way to do that. Take a Look at http://candidatescompared.blogspot.com

Just voting your chosen party isn't doing your duty as a citizen. Knowing what each candidate stands for before you vote is.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Not giving my daughter enough credit

Sometimes I think we just don't give our adult children with Down Syndrome enough credit. Like this weekend. My 16 year old, Ross is in the hospital with another kidney infection. Yesterday he was bored and called his sister Danielle on the phone. Danielle hung up without giving Jennifer (23, DS) a chance to talk. So Jennifer grabs the phone and looks for the last number on the caller ID and calls the hospital and asks for her brother by name and gets connected.

I didn't think she knew how to do that, or that the operator would understand her. But it worked. She called him again today. That gives me some hope that she will do OK on her own someday. By on her own, I mean in a group home setting, after we're gone. Not that she'll be leaving this house. We designed this house so that it would make a perfect group home. Someday we'll incorporate it non profit, get a board and hire staff so that the kids can all stay together (The 9 here now are all developmentally delayed.) It would really hurt each one of them if they couldn't live with their siblings.

Friday, September 5, 2008

The Broken House

Well it does seem like we will have to board up the window between the kitchen and the family room. Jeremy pulled out another post and was able to squeeze his 15 year old body through and steal stuff from the kitchen. And again, upon being caught he went on a rampage.

Yesterday I don't even remember what set him off. But he did a great job of ripping up the playroom bathroom. Tore the toilet seat off, ripped down the shower curtain, etc.

I don't even know who knocked down the framed picture of Ethan, our late son, and the already beaten up framed print over the loveseat. But it was Jeremy who threw a shoe at his ceiling light and busted that.

The state has "tiers" of need for developmentally delayed kids, and those tiers determine how much help a child gets at home. We got the new tiers the other day and Jeremy is only the lowest tier-the one where kids who need the least services are. This after we had put in for a one on one at home to follow him around and prevent him from doing all this damage. I guess that is off the table now.

Is it worth it to keep trying to have a nicely decorated hole-free home? I'm not talking showcase decorating here. Just a status quo decorating. I've seen homes in really poor, tough neighborhoods that had nicer interior rooms than mine. You know, a couch and a loveseat, a recliner, an end table and a coffee table. A couple lamps, some framed prints on the walls. A floor that hasn't been torn up bit by bit, doors that haven't been kicked in...

All it takes is one little devil. We've got two. Love them both, but come on guys!

This is why my grandsons refer to our place as "The Broken House."

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

This is hard to do (The Secret)

I've been working extra hard to come up with a good way to make a full time income from home. I design webpages for people, for about $300-500, but that's not something that I can count on. I'm slowly getting back into the real estate investment game, but buyers are few these days. Who the heck wants to buy a house now when next year it could be worth 20% less than they paid for it?

Neale Donald Walsch's
daily message today was exactly what I needed to hear. Here it is:

On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know...

. ..that desire is a powerful force that can be used to

make things happen.

Marcia Weider said that, and she was right. Yet do

not confuse desire with expectation, or with need.

Desire has an entirely different quality to it. You can

desire something without needing or requiring it.

That little difference makes everything work. That

little difference is the whole trick. Desire, do not

Require. To desire propels. To require compels. Life

will not be compelled, but it can be coaxed...

Whoever or whatever you are trying to compel today,

stop it. Just...fall back into the soft cotton of desire.

OK, so I've got to get it straight. All I really have to do is DESIRE something. That's easy. I've got to trust God that he will hear my desire and provide the way. I have to stop trying to MAKE things happen. THAT part is difficult.

I also have to stop WORRYING about finances. Because the Law of Attraction says we get what we give thought to. So if my thoughts are "I don't have enough money" then all I'll get back from the universe is more not enough money.

Another thing I have to get straight is that trying to change someone's mind is impossible. And by railing against John McCain I'm putting my thoughts on him, and improving his chances. Luckily there seem to be far more Republican Obama haters working to get Obama elected by their attention to him :)

Friday, August 29, 2008

Ha Ha HA

AOL just had a little article on the life span of things in the home. Obviously they weren't talking about large adoptive families. Take a look.

We once had a washer and dryer set that lasted 15 years. Of course that was when we only had about 5 kids.

Now it's rare for us to get through a year without replacing at least the washer or the dryer.

The stove? Well our last glass top stove lasted about 12 years, but for the last few years the oven door didn't shut all the way, and one burner didn't work.

Carpet or other flooring that lasts 16 to 25 years-Well, carpet make zero sense in our house. And sheet vinyl flooring-my kids rip it right off the floor in random pieces. We have hospital grade tiles in our family room. The kids dig until they get an edge up and then pull the tile off. My kids have even been known to crack ceramic tile laid of a concrete slab.

Windows? That's a big joke! My kids break windows like they break wind.

And that stuff that looks like brick facing...if we had that I'm totally sure that someone here would dig and pick until they got it off the walls or fireplace.

Sounds like I don't have any control over my kids, doesn't it? But that's simply not true. All my children are developmentally delayed, and a couple have ODD and wild behavior that we try to control with medications. But we'd have to have something that totally knocks out the two boys before we could guarantee that nothing would be torn apart or broken here.

It's a trade off. Kids that I dearly love, or a perfect house. The house loses every time.

Making Fun of People with Down Syndrome

We've adopted nine kids with Down syndrome over the years. Two of those children now live in heaven. They are not all the same. They have different strengths and weaknesses just like "normal" people. And I love every one of them. They are my favorite flavor of kids.

They can do so much more than the public gives them credit for. Like the youn woman with Down Syndrome who works for a hospital where it is her job to break down the incubators and clean them part by part and get them sanitized for the next premie infant.

When the company that made the incubators sent a group of reps out to the hospital to be trained in how to break down and clean incubators, this young woman with DS was the only person in the hospital capable of doing it right. She is exacting in her work. She has found he niche. As will all of my children with Downs.

That's why it hurts me to see that on YOUTube 90% of the videos about Down syndrome are about making fun of people with DS. Cruel, hurtful stuff.

Today on a list I belong to, another mom showed us this movie. This is how parents of such a child feel.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Family Visits

We rarely get a visit from family here- I mean from my siblings or my husband's siblings. Even my sister who lives 10 minutes away never visits-too busy she works, no living kids. Everyone else either lives out of state or 4-5 hours away. So when my brother calls and says he and his family will be stopping by on their way home from south of here, I get excited.

John is 50 now. He's my baby brother-the one I always had on my lap in the back seat of our gray Olds station wagon when we were growing up. We didn't have seat belts back then. I did a lot of carrying John around when I was a kid. I was ten years older than he. I was the oldest, and he was the youngest of five kids. I was often in charge of him, and I loved it.

John's only child, Conner, looks exactly like his dad did at the age of 10. Takes me back. My husband hasn't seen them in years, and when he came in he was mentally taken back to 1967 when we started dating and would occasionally pick me up at home. John would have been ten then, too.

When John and his family stops by, it's always on the way home from somewhere, and usually for not more than an hour. I don't think he and his wife are comfortable around lots of kids, especially special needs kids that have been adopted. That's OK. I am not looking for family approval, and John has never said anything that would indicate he disproved. I just think all my kids make them uncomfortable.

Nonetheless, I love my baby brother. We email frequently and sometimes he even calls me. He and I have the same spiritual beliefs, something I can't say about the rest of the family. Actually, John is the only relative I have that shares my spiritual beliefs.

John has a bad heart. It's enlarged, and doesn't keep a good rhythm, so he has a pacemaker and one of those shocker devices to start his heart if needed. We almost lost him in May of this year. He had a heart attack, and if not for the shocker he would have not made it to the hospital. Crazy guy drove himself, getting shocked like 8 times on the way. He says that it's not just a mild shock. It's like a major blow, something that even makes him scream it's so powerful.

So he ended up having triple bypass surgery. If his heart continues to weaken he will be on the transplant list. I hate to see him suffer.

But we're all getting old. It's tough getting used to that. Our parents are gone, and some of our older cousins have died. All of our aunts and uncles are dead, too. We ARE the older generation of my family. I've had to come to terms with that.

John just wants to live long enough to see his son Conner graduate high school and start on his journey of becoming a man. I pray that he can do that-because I'd surely miss him and partly because I'm pretty sure we'll never see Conner again once John is gone.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Holy Cow....errrr, TIGER

Just got an automated call from the county. There is a wildlife sanctuary about two blocks from us or less. A Tiger has escaped and we are to stay inside and notify 911 if we see it.

I'm hearing sirens...Don't say my life isn't interestnig!

Sunday, August 17, 2008


I needed this this morning. Now...well...what can I NOT accomplish?

Monday, August 11, 2008

This Guy Could Make a Bazillion Bucks....

...if he perfected his technique for babies, kids and teenagers.

Can you imagine having a kid going off and destroying things and then BLAM the kid is sleeping?

Saturday, August 9, 2008


I have two boys who seem to make housebreaking their life's work. I don't mean breaking into houses, I mean Breaking Apart Houses. This one in particular.

Now, many large adoptive families have this very problem. None of us has a picture perfect home. But then we're not picture perfect families. I've had case workers who walked into my home and said that it wasn't homey enough. That I needed end tables and lamps and curtains at all the window and pictures on the walls. I'd go out and get all those things only to have the kids destroy each one in just a few weeks.

The most we can have in our living room is a leather sofa, a leather loveseat and a leather recliner. Before we invested in the leather we had to go to the thrift store and buy a whole new sofa and loveseat and chair just about every month. It was good that I could buy the whole set for $100, though. But they were not very pretty.

We've had framed prints on the wall, well, screwed into the wall, and some of them have stayed up a long time. In particular the framed photograph of our late son, Ethan, which seems to be revered enough to stay put. It did have a mishap when Will through a skate at a window and missed.

On Thursday night Jeremy was caught with contraband food from the kitchen and then went on a rampage. Luckily there isn't much left for him to break. I mean he's broken his own bedroom window, and ripped his hollow core door to shreads, so that now he has no door. He's ripped the blinds from his window so often that I think they won't go back up there. He tore apart his dresses, so now he has a plastic basket for his clothing. He has holes in the walls everywhere in there, so he went looking for something to destroy.

He ripped the toilet seat off the toilet in the playroom bathroom, breaking the part where it attaches to the toilet. That poor toilet. Just the day before Will had been in one of his throw everything moods and picked up the toilet tank lid and threw it. Dad patched it together with superglue. It looks sad.

The difference between Will (almost 21, down syndrome) and Jeremy (15, down syndrome) is that Will does these things on a lark. He happily does things. He doesn't do stuff when he's angry. He sits and cries or yells. Jeremy is sneaky and takes things, and then when caught he goes on a rampage and destroys stuff. Jeremy is much smarter than WIll.

We used to have a pass through between the family room and the kitchen (what was I thinking when I designed this house. Kids constantly crawled over it to get into food. We've had a wall there for many years. Now we have a window there, but it has posts up and down the opening. Jeremy figures out how to maneuver his arm so that he could each the doorknob and get into the kitchen, so we put plywood on those posts as far as he might possibly reach. So he busted out one of the posts. Dad fixed it with tape and reinstalled it, but Jeremy knocked it out again and crawled through the opening (must have squeezed real tight) and got in to steal food. And when caught went on another rampage.

So Dad put another piece of plywood over that hole, and the next thing you know Jeremy is taking a metal dining chair and ramming the top of it into the plywood.

Did I mention that he broke his box springs and his brass headboard? Or that he has broken every set of rabbit ears we've ever bought?

Will breaks things too, but happily so. He has broken the legs off of the foosball game (one time Jeremy helped.) He ripped off the skirting from the playroom couch. He rips up vinyl flooring like it's the funniest thing in the world. But it's different. It's not from rage, but something fun to do.

I dream of a beautifully decorated home, but the reality is that until the kids are all grown and out on their own (AND THEY WILL BE SOMEDAY- I SWEAR IT!) and my husband and I have a nice little regular four bedroom on a pretty lot perfectly landscaped with flowering trees and end tables, lamps and framed art and, maybe, do I dare think it? Carpets...

My grandsons ask their parents, not if they are going to grandma's house. They ask, "Are we going to the Broken House?"

Am I alone in this?

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Tough Love vs. Spanking

Most of America's populace think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'

One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.
Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc..

Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together.

I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.


I think this will work with grandchildren, nieces, and nephews as well.

(OK, it was just too funny not to post here...)

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Door Hinges and Getting Old

Yo, Wendy! you would have loved being here today- NOT! Jeremy got angry because we told him he could have a drink of juice, but he couldn't put it in his water bottle. (He would keep the water bottle and juice in his room for three days until he started drinking it and get sick.) So he went on a rampage. He took the hinge pins out of his sister's bedroom, door and that was just the beginning.

So late at night I was talking to Jay and he was telling me how much he loved me. Jay is 15 and is my only child who uses a wheelchair. I said, I love you too, and I'm glad you love me. Someday when I'm an old lady, will you take care of me? And Jay says, "Uh, Mom, that's what nursing homes are for."

And if the kindest, sweetest child I have says that, I guess I'd better get used to the idea...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

It's Not Your Job To Make Others Happy

I like this message that came in email this morning:

t is not your role to make others happy; it is your role to keep yourself in balance. When you pay attention to how you feel and practice self-empowering thoughts that align with who-you-really-are, you will offer an example of thriving that will be of tremendous value to those who have the benefit of observing you.

You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive or sick enough to help sick people get well or angry enough to help angry people be at peace. You only ever uplift from your position of strength and clarity and alignment.

--Keep yourself happy and thinking good empowering thoughts. That's your only job.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Space Aliens in my Back Yard

Last night before we went to bed, I think space aliens came down and zapped a strange flower into the dirt in my back yard. I've never seen anything like it, and it came up overnight. Just this one flower. It has no petals, just this white circular thing with long legs sticking out of it with a green shoot coming up through the center.

Doesn't look like any mushroom or toadstool I've ever seen.

I think it may get up and walk away soon.

Anyone have any idea what it might be?

1915 War Protest Song

If you think the business of war protesting started with the Vietnam War you'd be wrong. Here is a song made popular in the era of 1915 to 1918 during WWI. The sentiment is that world differences should be handled through arbitration between countries, not by war.

Today we have Obama wanting to negotiate with other countries, and McCain wanting only military action and no arbitration and negotiation. Yet I think that if women ran the world, or at least MOTHERS ran the world, there would be no wars.

Differences would be settled through diplomacy, negotiation and arbitration. Just the way we teach our children to settle disagreements.

No decent mother would ever tell her child to get a gun and go off and shoot the person causing her child a problem.

Listen to the song below "I Didn't Raise My Son To Be a Soldier."


Saturday, July 26, 2008

Old Favorites on TV

This summer my 16 year old daughter has discovered I Love Lucy reruns on tv. She absolutely loves it.

Today she says, Mom come here. And she starts explaining what Lucy is up to. And she says, "Ooooh, Girl...that Lucy gets herself into a lot of trouble. Ricky better get rid of her!

Actually, Danielle, I think she eventually got rid of HIM.

She doesn't see the show as funny, just dramatic. Like a soap opera...

Friday, July 25, 2008

Think they won't remember what you did for them?

Sometimes with kids you really wonder if you have had any effect on them. Watch this video. You probably won't get as much of a proof from your kid, but, if this can happen, then...

...surely our input with a kid matters....

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Where have the bees and butterflies gone?

My back yard is filled with wildflowers. But one thing is missing this year.

There are NO bees buzzing around those flowers, and there are so few butterflies that I rarely see one out there anymore. Last summer they were abundant. I think the powers that be are not telling the country the truth about colony collapse disorder.

For some reason (some folks claim increased cell phone usage that is interfering with the bees' homing abilities. Others say it is an unknown mite.) bee colonies are disappearing at an alarming rate. Until this summer, I thought it was hype, but now I see that it is true.

(Tests have shown that if you place a cell phone next to a bee hive, the bees won't come back.)

What does that mean to life on earth? Albert Einstein said that if all the bees disappeared we'd have only 4 years of life left on earth. Think about it. No pollination, no vegetables of fruit. No grass equals no meat or fowl. Now maybe there might still be fish, I don't know. But enough to feed the world? I doubt it.

Estimates are that 60% of the western USA's bee colonies have disappeared, and that 70% of the eastern USA's bee colonies have vanished. I think we just might be in trouble.

QUESTION FOR READERS: Have you seen many bees this summer?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Caitlyn's Ruptured Eyeball

At dinner time I got a phone call from a local hospital asking permission to do surgery on my 24 year old daughter Caitlyn who lives in a group home south of here. She has Down Syndrome and has been living in a group home for several years.

This is a profoundly MR AA kid who is also extremely self abusive. The lady on the phone wanted my permission to have surgery done on Caitie tomorrow AM. I asked "For what?"

She says, well she has a ruptured eyeball. Huh? And the group home never called me? And how the h*ll did THAT happen?

I said of course I'd give my permission. Then I called her support coordinator who also hadn't been notified by the group home.

They say that she had been rubbing her eye lately. Monday AM she got up and her pupil looked gray, but they sent her to the workshop anyway. The workshop got worried and called them and they finally took her to the eye MD, who says he's pretty sure that she has a ruptured eyeball. He is going to operate in the morning.

So I'll go down there in the AM to sign the permissions...Why do the lives of kids whose situations are already sad have to hurt as well?

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Far Away Family

That's our second child, Adam (35) on the left with his two beautiful sons, Lucas( three months) and Liam (three years). Aren't those kids gorgeous? Sandy, their mom, isn't in the photo because she is the one taking it. But you can trust me when I say that she is gorgeous, too.

Isn't this what we all want for our kids? A good job, a loving spouse and wonderful children. You make me very proud, Adam.

Sadly they all live more than 1000 miles away. I haven't seen Liam since he was 3 months old, or seen Lucas at all. That's why all the pix Sandy and Adam sent me are so special.

Love you guys!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

A fish story of another kind

For lack of anything interesting at all happening at home I thought I'd share an email I got today from a friend.

DH and I are voracious readers-something that we did NOT pass on to our children for some reason. Not one of them takes time to read.

Sometimes I think I was put on this earth to learn as much as I possibly could. So powerful is that yearning to know MORE in me. So here is that email:

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start a any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again.

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' he said, and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Monday, July 7, 2008

This made me smile - and feel better

The daily email from Neale Donald Walsch this morning made me smile, and relax, like so many of his messages do:

On this day of your life, Dusty, I believe God wants you to know...

.....that disappointment is your thought that God doesn't

know what God is doing.

That, of course, is impossible. So try to not be

disappointed in anything. Know that life is showing up

perfectly in every moment.

Today's disappointment could be tomorrow's springboard

to all that you've ever wanted. In fact, it probably is.

You will not have to think very hard to know exactly

why you received this message today...<<

Subscribe to these insightful daily messages at www.nealdonaldwalsch.com

Friday, July 4, 2008

Down Syndrome Lothario

Yesterday my husband and I took Jeremy to the shrink for the first time. His behavior over the three weeks between real school and summer school made us face the facts. He needed to be back on meds.

There should have been a security camera in the waiting room. He displayed all his ADHD symptoms quite well, except, of course, for the breaking windows, putting holes in the wall, stealing things and taunting his siblings. He was all over the place. Luckily for most of that time we were to only occupants of the room.

Then a young couple came in and sat opposite us and sat reading a magazine together. Jeremy, of course, goes over to them and puts out his hand to the girl and says, "Hi, I'm Jeremy."

She says hello and then Jeremy says "you're cute" and then stands there winking his eye about ten times. I guess that's supposed to be a big attraction factor.

The he comes back and sits down and tells the young man that he's sending him home. Then he tells the girl to meet him at ten o'clock. Actually, he says, "Girlfriend, meet me at 10 o'clock."

He didn't tell her he was going to marry her, like he normally does with pretty girls, but he did kiss her hand. The young couple took it all with good sport. The kid can crack me up.

The shrink, however, is a medicaid flunky shrink. Have you noticed that the psychiatrists that take medicaid are nothing more than pill pushers? This guy talked to me for a while without Jeremy, then brought the kid in and talked to him and prescribed two meds. One of which is a controlled substance. which means two things: 1. medicaid will fight paying for it and 2. we'll have to make the trek into town each month to pick up am RX form, because there are never any refills on these drugs.

It's probably going to take months before we can get him approved for this one drug, and then every couple months they will stop paying for it, and we'll have to fight for it again. I tried to talk him into Strattera, which worked OK for him years ago, AND isn't a controlled substance. Yes we'd stil have to fight medicaid to get it, but at least there can be refills. But, no...this new drug will supposedly work much better than Strattera.

I think all medicaid shrinks get a kickback from the drug companies when they prescribe a new drug. That's all these guys do. Kid walks in, parent says ADHD, he says to himself, "Which ADHD drug did the pretty drug rep in the gray suit, high heels, and black suitcase bring to his attention yesterday?"

There's no real concern for the child. It's like a revolving door. Kid in with ADHD, Kid out with the first drug that comes to mind. NEXT!

Actually I think the government could save money on their medicaid patients with a simple vending machine. You punch in your kid's medicaid number, select from a variety of possible mental conditions that you suspect your child has and press a button and out comes your script. That's all the medicaid shrink does anyway. Let's eliminate the middle man.

We had an excellent shrink lady for ab out a year. She actually spent a LOT of time discussing Will's problems and very carefully made an RX plan for him that actually works pretty well. Not just the top drug being newly sold right now, but the tried and true meds that she knew would fit Will's case. She was wonderful, and she really cared.

She stopped taking medicaid when they never paid her. I miss her,

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

My Beautiful UnGarden

I'm not a gardener like Cindy or Megamom. At 61, I just don't want to go back to playing in the dirt like I did when I was younger. Sure I'd love the fresh veggies...well, maybe next year...Naaah.

I guess what you could say is that I do natural gardening. Natural flower gardening that is.

This photo is of the west end of our back yard. I allowed the Wedelia to take over there, not allowing my husband to mow it down. I did allow him to mow a path around that edges so I can walk the dog in my "Garden."

Wedelia is also known as "creeping daisy, and most folks here try hard to get rid of it, but it is just so marvelously beautiful when it covers an entire meadow (we don't really have meadows here, but this will do.)

How can anyone walk through this part of our huge back yard and not feel happy? It brings me peace. It takes over a yard real fast, but I'm hoping by next time this year the entire backyard is full of the tiny little bright yellow daisies. I even picked some of the flowers and threw them into what should be a flower bed in front of the wheelchair ramp in hope, no, knowing full well, that it will take over and next year I'll have a pretty yellow flower bed out front.

I just realized tonight that the whole wedelia thing is sort of a symbol of my whole life. I find beauty in the way natural flowers spread out over my little peace of heaven. Just the way I've found beauty in the 21 kids we've raised or are still raising. They aren't the healthy white infants that most people want to adopt. But they are truly more beautiful because of how they were born. I love them just the way they are, just like my creeping daisies.

And like the wedelia, we let our family keep growing and spreading. No mowing or pruning-like those families we meet who always say, "I don't know how you do it. I only have two and they drive me crazy."

And this human garden has given me much more than green peppers and tomatoes. Thank you, God, for both my natural gardens.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Only in Palm Beach

My adult son Jonathan got called into the architect office where he works at 6PM Sunday. Seems they have been drawing up plans for George Hamilton's Palm Beach Condo and there was an architectural emergency. Rush job.

Only in Palm Beach do you have architectural emergencies.

Down Syndrome Kids vs "Normal" Kids

You get very different reactions from DS kids than you get with so called normal kids. For example:

Mom to "normal" kid: It's your turn to do the dishes

Normal Kid: I did them last week. Anyway I have too much homework to finish and my softball game is starting in four hours. And I think it's Nancy's turn.

Mom to kid with Down Syndrome:
It's your turn to do the dishes

Kid with Down Syndrome: