Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Adoption Mafia

With no new shows on television that we are interested in, we've been getting sets of DVDs from the library for old Cable tv series for my husband and I to watch after the kids go to their rooms at night. (We don't have cable or a dish.)

In particular, we've been watching The Sopranos, from season one. We're at the end of season three.

Now, I certainly don't condone mob tactics, but I do like to fantasize that in the post adoption world that we HAD our own mafia. An Adoption Mafia.

Think about it...You have a school problem, and you send your adoption mafia capi out to "have a talk" with the offending person. Just a little threat of bodily harm. No actual smacking around, except when it is absolutely necessary...

You have CPS problem...make one call, and POOF, it goes away.

One of your teens is acting out bigtime and getting into trouble. The mafioso takes the kid for a walk and explains how it's gonna work. No more kid problems.

I think it has real possibilities. Anyone know a few goons?

Thursday, February 21, 2008


Yesterday was quite a trip. About three weeks ago I sent out a thought to the universe that I wanted sod and landscaping for my front yard. The law of attraction says that thoughts are energy and when released to the universe, the universe HAS to go out and find it for you.

(Of course if you send out a negative thought, the universe HAS to find you more similar negative things.)

But this was a really nice thought/wish/desire. I pictured myself driving up to my house and seeing beautiful grass and foundation bushes, all flowering, and a flowering ornamental tree. The picture in my mind was so pleasing.

Now the thing about the law of attraction, you never know where the answer will come from, or how long it will take, but when you GET what you wanted, all you'll be able to say is WOW!

I got that WOW yesterday when I got an email from a friend who is a realtor. She said that her agency had formed a club to help people in the community, and while she didn't want to insult me (nobody can do that anymore-I simply don't care what people think) but that she wondered if we had any needs that they might fulfill.

I sat there and said THANK YOU, GOD (when they talk about the universe, they are talking about God.) I wrote her back about my dream of landscaping the front yard, the sod, bushes and flowering tree, and she said that they could do that!

I mean, it was out of the blue! But that's how the universe/God works. Your thought goes out and the universe answers. This is not the first time I have experienced the positive effects of this law. But the difference in my life now is that instead of getting back mostly negative things in my life, now that I understand the law, I choose to pull wonderful things into my life.

It's a real joy, living this way. Here's a short video that 100% shows you exactly how my life feels now. Watch it and then think, "I can feel this way every day, too!"

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Setting the Theme for the Day

Years ago I used to hate getting up. I never looked forward to my day. I expected crap to happen, and it usually did. All I wanted to do was sleep. That isn't the way my life goes anymore.

I wake up and I say "Thank you God for the blessings I have received and am receiving." I choose a positive thought or feeling over a negative one. Whenever I hear something bad or negative, I reach for the loving or good thought. The thought that resonates with peace.

Each morning I promise myself that I will find happy things to dwell on, and my day always goes well.

Here's a quote from the Law of Attraction. I can vouch for it. It is 100% true and always works.

"We are all Vibrational Beings. You're like a receiving mechanism that when you set your tuner to the station, you're going to hear what's playing. Whatever you are focused upon is the way you set your tuner, and when you focus there for as little as 17 seconds, you activate that vibration within you.

Once you activate a vibration within you, Law of Attraction begins responding to that vibration, and you're off and running -- whether it's something wanted or unwanted"

If you don't have peace in your life. This is why.

Monday, February 18, 2008

My #3 Grandson

I don't get to see my long distance grandson, Liam. Haven't seen him since he was 3 months old. But I do enjoy reading his mom's blog. Here's a post from last summer:


Part of what I like about writing this blog is that I can just write down stuff I want to remember, whether or not any one else finds it as interesting or funny. Naturally, dear reader, you probably don’t. The things your own kids do are usually only interesting or funny to you. But they’re your kids, so you want to remember them, because this time is really very short and it won’t be long before your wee one is shaving and driving and being too smart for his own damn good. So record the cute and funny stuff. It’s worth it later.

Anyhoodley, one of Liam’s funny things the last couple of weeks have been his interest in Wheel of Fortune. Now, I dont care for the show myself, but it’s exceptionally clean and the contestants yell letters and there are funny sound effects like the BLOOOOOOOOOOP! sound when someone spins a “bankrupt”. Liam ALWAYS imitates the Bankrupt Bloop. So what do I care if we kill the half-hour before story time and lullabies with Pat and Vanna? It’s better than Deal or No Deal, at any rate, with 26 hookers with briefcases and fool-acting contestants and that stupid banker-phonecall gimmick. In any case, I knew Liam liked Wheel of Fortune. What I didn’t realize was how much he was catching on until last week when my mom and I took him out to lunch. In the restaurant’s lobby, there were chairs that spun around and Liam was goofing off on them and started spinning them. After a few tries, he gives one of the chairs a good, hard spin and yells, “N!!” Then he spun the chair again and yelled, “H!!” And again. “A!!” And I thought to myself, “Oh my God, he’s playing Wheel of Fortune.”

The other funny thing is Liam’s penchant for the BeeGees. He likes Night Fever well enough, but he really loves Stayin’ Alive and he’ll sing it to himself all day. Just walking around the house going, “Sayin’ a-ive! Sayin’ a-ive! Ah-ah-ah-ah Sayin’ a-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! Yeah!” And he adds in his own words for whatever he’s doing or eating. I have heard “Cheese cheese cheese cheese sayin’ a-ive, sayin’ a-ive” and “Grapes grapes grapes grapes sayin’ a-ive, sayin’ a-ive” and “Cars cars cars cars sayin’ a-ive, sayin’ a-ive.”. It just makes me laugh. Then yesterday he started learning the rest of the words, and while his pronunciation is extremely garbled and baby-like, there is nothing quite like hearing a two-year-old proclaim that we can tell by the way he uses his walk he’s a woman’s man, no time to talk.<<

I dearly miss this side of the family...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Wonder of Wonders

Robin (17 DS) is still at home today with a runny nose, so she and I went down to Jeremy's IEP meeting at the special state run classroom for severe behavior problem mentally retarded kids.

The last IEP I attended there I was informed in no uncertain terms that Jeremy would spend one more year in the high school class there and then be transitioned back into regular high school.

I was dreading that. This is a kid who made seasoned teachers cry with his behavior, who hit kicked and punched teachers and students alike. Who ran away frequently (once getting into an unlocked car and locking himself in. ) And once he had been transferred to this special class his behavior at home changed for the better as well.

So imagine my surprise when nobody wanted to transition him out of that school! It was like the discussion at the last IEP had never happened. I mean they had insisted that his current class was a temporary one and that it wasn't possible to keep him there longer than this current year.

But not one of them seemed to remember that conversation. I'm thinking it's another blessing from my following the teachings of "The Secret" (see the dvd on the right.)

When you control your thoughts and only think of good things, then good things happen to you. Your thoughts become your reality. The constantly angry or depressed person will draw angry people into her life as well as things that make her depressed even more.

That's a real simple generalization, but you get the picture. Get the DVD and watch it. I try to watch it once a month. I get new insights every time. My life is changed.

All my children are doing well. Very few meltdowns. Very few. And hardly any minor stuff either. It's downright pleasant around here.

Add to that the fact that I am married to the love of my life, who is THE best husband and father on the face of the earth...and I'm a woman at peace.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A little Motivation from a Kid With Down Syndrome

This pic is Jeremy and Matt at the 2007 Special Olympics Equestrian Event. But neither one has anything to do with this post :) I just like the picture.

What I want to show you is a neat little movie about how a 19 year old boy with Down Syndrome who works as a bagger at a grocery store who makes a big difference in his customer's lives.

I found this movie very inspiring. How can I make a difference in the lives of those I meet every day?

Check it out here:

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


Every large adoptive family with special needs kids has at least one wonderboy. You know, the kid, when something is lost or broken, whose name comes to mind first. The prime suspect.

We have two of them. Both have Down Syndrome. One is 14, and the highest functioning of all my DS kids, and the other is a 3 year old in a 20 year old's body.

The 14 yr old wonderkind, Jeremy, is home with the flu, as are Emily, Ross and Jay. I wouldn't wish this bug on anyone, but it sure makes for a quiet day here It's noon and Jeremy just got off the couch.

I just hope that Jeremy goes back to school before Will gets the bug.

And, no, we have no wondergirls. Our girls give us very little angst.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Why I Like Obama

I've been trying to sum up why I like Senator Obama, but having a difficult time putting it into words. Luckily, this morning I came across a piece by author Marianne Williamson that does it for me. Kinda like she got in my head and wrote this:

My Journey To Obama

By Marianne Williamson

I didn't start out with him.

I thought people were projecting wildly onto him, making positive assumptions that he hadn't earned and filling in empty spaces in his resume with mere hopes of substance. But the longer campaign season has worked for me; having watched the candidates move through time, I've seen who's grown and who hasn't. I've ended up – at least for now – with Obama.

I'm perplexed by the question often presented by his opponents, "Yeah, but how is he really going to change things?" To me, he already has. He has awakened the sleeping giant of American democracy, and that is the greatest antidote to every problem we face.

Then there's the "Yeah, but it's all just pretty words" argument. Oh please. Kind of like, "Of the people, by the people, and for the people"? "We have nothing to fear but fear itself"? "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country"? And "I have a dream"? Are we to think words never actually changed the world?

For me personally, he had me at "Yes,We Can."
(click to see this amazing video)

Of course, there's the notion that someone else might know what to do from Day One, given how much experience she's already had in Washington. But one of the things I like about Obama is that he hasn't had more experience in Washington. I think he's had just enough to know what he's doing, but not so much that his consciousness has been completely permeated by the rules of that game.

When I think of the American government, I'm reminded of a line oft said in Alcoholics Anonymous, "Your best thinking got you here." I don't support Obama because of his position on specific issues; I support him because of his worldview.

To quote Einstein: "We will not solve the problems of the world from the level of thinking we were at when we created them." Obama is a dreamer, and I say Good for him. Only Bobby Kennedy's mythic idealist – who "dreams of what hasn't been and asks 'why not?'" -- will have the power to lead with a new state of consciousness. And nothing short of a new state of consciousness will create a new state of the world.

Obama is a risk -- as is any new President, actually -- because we don't really know where he would lead us. But his main opponent, in my mind, is a greater risk -- because we do. She (Hillary Clinton) has clarity and brilliance about a world that is, but he has visions and intimations of a world that could be.

He's the natural heir to Bobby Kennedy's mantle of a pioneer who seeks a newer world. There's a wagon train behind him, and I'm on it. Because I am a dreamer too.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

A Sports Hero with Down Syndrome

So I have a nasty cold now. Can you guess why? Bringing up the painful memories of Ethan's death resulted in a physical response. Next time you are getting a cold or something worse, think about what it is that is bothering you. There's always some issue that is causing your ill health.

Anyhow... Here's a neat story about a kid named Brad who is on both the golf and basketball varsity teams at his high school. Really cool.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

What happened after Ethan died

I was going to write a long post all about Ethan yesterday, but I couldn't. And I thought just pictures would tell any mother how much he was loved. But this post is about what happened to ME.

All my children and my husband were hurting so badly, I felt I had to hold it all in, because if I let myself feel the pain as deeply as I knew I could, then nobody in the family would be strong enough to go on. So, although I cried, I didn't really mourn. I kept a good deal of my pain of loss locked up inside. And that emotional pain did a job on my body.

Yes, I 100% believed that E was in heaven and being loved and taken care of up there. But it happened so suddenly. One minute he was standing in the hallway and the next he was dead on the floor. CPR, waiting for the paramedics (20 minutes) the hospital, telling the kids. Worst day of my life. And I felt tremendous guilt. Why hadn't I seen it coming?

I ended up with multiple stomach ulcers very quickly, and in a couple month I got Rhabdomyolysis, which is a liver disease caused by statins like Lipitor. One day I simply could not walk anymore. I couldn't move, and I got an ambulance ride to the hospital in the same ambulance that had taken Ethan away.

My body was eating itself. My liver was devouring my muscles. My kidneys couldn't handle the large muscle particles that were going through my bloodstream. I got my taste of what using a wheelchair was like. It took about 6 months before I could walk steadily again, but my strength has never returned.

My emotional pain created my physical pain.

That's what anger does. That's what despair does. And I let it. I could have handled it differently. It was what it was, and no amount of anger or despair was going to change it. I should have mourned.

The next time you feel yourself getting sick, say a cold or the flu, take the time to figure out what problem is pressing so hard on your heart that it's making you sick. I bet you can always find the trigger.

And if that anger is what I called "transferred anger" that is, someone else's problem is making you angry...let them own their own problem and take the consequences of their anger. Don't let them make you sick.

I'm comforted by the knowledge that I'll see Ethan again when I make that transition to heaven.

Friday, February 1, 2008

In Memoriam of My Sweet Son Ethan

Ethan Earl b. 8-12-1989 with big bro Justin

Ethan 5 months old.

about 4




December 2002

Ethan, two weeks before he died on February 1st, 2003

8-12-1989 to 2-1-2003

Love you ALWAYS, E.

Can't wait to see you again!