Monday, June 15, 2009

What's wrong with this adoption story?

This is a quiz for adoptive parents. How many things can you find wrong with this story?

I was reading a book by Barbara Delinski called "Suddenly." It's about a busy female doctor who is single and owns her own home. She is in practice with her best friend, also a female MD and another guy.

Her best friend, Mara, kills herself one night. She had been in the process of adopting a baby girl from India. After the funeral the heroine is cleaning out her friend's house when there is a knock at the door.

It's a lady who has brought the baby from India and because Mara didn't show up to pick the baby up at the airport, she has driven out to Mara's house. The heroine (whose name I can't recall, she was so impressive) tells the lady that Mara is dead. The heroine didn't even know her best friend was to get her new baby so quickly.

The social worker or travel lady tells our girl that she will have to take the baby back. Wait, she says, Can I be her foster mother?

The social worker says Oh I don't know. But since she is an MD, and therefore a good choice, the worker makes one phone call to headquarters and allows the baby to stay with this MD as the foster parent. She packs up the baby and takes her to her own home.

Now, this doctor also teaches track at a local private school. One of her students has gotten herself pregnant at I think 16, and he parents have dumped her. So this bright MD sees an opportunity and tells the girl she can live with her in exchange for child care.

So while the MD works long hours, goes to the private school and coaches running, and carries on an affair with the president of the school, this poor scared prego girl sits at home with the baby girl, from early AM until the wee hours of the night.

It was at this point that I threw in the towel.

OK, how many real life inconsistencies can you find?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

$3100 for dental care for one kid?

Friday my husband took Matthew, 24, who has Down Syndrome over an hour away out of the county to the only dental place who would knock him out, pull two teeth and fix 7 others.

He did fine, but man, it sucks to have to pay that much. I can think of TONS of things that we could have used that money for.

The problem is that while medicaid for kids has a wonderful dental program that fixes everything for no cost, the adult medicaid has a dental plan that will pull out tooth a year and fill one tooth with a silver filling only per year.

Dentists don't use silver anymore. We bought a dental discount card, but it only would have been of value if Matt could hold still for having two molars extracted and the other 7 drilled and filled.

Wasn't gonna happen. So we took all of the $2250 that we got through the government's economic recovery payment to people on SSI, and $850 of our own cash and had his work down in the next county.

Now I'm glad he got his teeth fixed. But I'm angry that adults with developmental disabilities who don't qualify for private insurance have to go without dental care. So many of the people who work alongside Matt and Jennifer at the Hab Center have missing teeth. I mean, if medicaid can do it for kids with disabilities, why can't they also do it for adults with disabilities?

Monday, June 8, 2009

My Happiness Depends on ME

Found a quote this AM that helps me. So often I blame others for the way I'm feeling. If I'm angry or stressed I blame others, but it's not so.

"Tell everyone you know: "My happiness depends on me, so you're off the hook." And then demonstrate it.

Be happy, no matter what they're doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel -- and then, you'll love them all. Because the only reason you don't love them, is because you're using them as your excuse to not feel good."

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Equestrian SPecial Olympics

The end of May my husband and I escorted 6 of our kids to Tampa for the state equestrian event for special olympics. Matt, Jennifer, Emily, Robin, Danielle, and Jeremy went.

It was a pleasant trip over there by bus, where Emily got locked in the bathroom and couldn't get out. The driver didn't have the key to the bathroom so he had to take a screwdriver to the lock to get her out. She was frantic.

The hotel was great, but everyone was so tired by then end of the day, that we showered and hopped into bed and went right to sleep.

Special Olympics is a marvelous organization. Everyone is a winner. It's a great time for socializing with others and making new friends. I made a new friend there as well. A woman who runs some group homes locally brought a couple of her residents with her to the games.

This was good for me. I have had a real fear, no, call it dread, of my adult children going into group homes. We had always thought we'd simply turn this home into a group home eventually, but that probably isn't going to happen. Meeting Theresa was good for me, because I could see how happy her clients were and how well they were treated. And that she actually made sure that they participated in events like this. I think I can do it now.

It's never easy to have a child grow up and leave home. It's even harder when the child who is becoming and adult can't really take care of themselves. Knowing that there are loving homes out there makes it all easier.