Thursday, May 29, 2008

Wheelchair Woes

We have waited over a year to get Jay's new wheelchair. He ordered it in Candy Red, and he was so excited that it was finally coming this afternoon.

Of course, after all the lost records and Medicaid stalling, the new wheelchair is BLUE, not Candy Red, and it is missing the bus clamps and the knee pad to keep his legs in alignment. I'm saying send it back and get it right. Jay wants to keep this one, even though it's not his favorite color red.

So I'm staying out of it. I'll let my husband make that decision. I don't want to be the one Jay complains to that he wishes he had gotten the red chair.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Parenting Special Needs Kids

While I was sitting and filling out the massive amount of paperwork to buy the new kitten (I refuse to say adopt the new kitten...) a woman and her young adult daughter came in with two dogs. The big one was being given to the pound. Obviously very old and tried.

The girl, who was somewhere between 18 and 24 I guess, was obviously mentally "challenged." (I'm not fond of that old term...) She had her own little terrier doggie and she was looking around the office and talking to people. She was fine. It was the mom who was whacked out.

Everytime the girl said or did anything the mom would roll her eyes at me an the others in the office. Like she was so embarrassed by the girl's behavior. The girl was talking to other folks in the office and this upset her mother. And she kept putting the girl down verbally. The girl didn't seem to notice the put downs or the rolling eyes. She was delightful.

And I'm thinking to myself, if you aren't going to be proud of your daughter and talk decently to her, at least find her a home where she can bloom. But not my business I guess.

New Kitty

About a week ago I was out of the house and after doing the one thing I absolutely HAD to do, on the spur of the moment I decided to visit the pound to look at kitties. Now we already have two cats, Daisy and Clifford, and they, beside my husband, are my bed buddies at night. Very cuddly and warm. But they are getting old. Both are about 11 years old.

Now I know from previous cat ownership that I probably have another 8 years with the two of them, but for a couple years I have been on the lookout for the perfect unique kitten. I visit the pound maybe three-four times a year, and until last Saturday I wasn't able to find a really unique cat.

So I walked into the cattery nursery and BOING. There was this adorable totally all white baby sleeping in a mesh condo-like thing handing from the ceiling. I picked him up and he cuddled right into my arms and went to sleep. It was love at first sight. He's a medium hair kitten, so he'll going to be an extra special looking adult cat.

After struggling for a week with cat names, I said to myself, the heck with what everyone else thought, I was going to name him Sweetie. Nobody liked the name...

After cuddling eighteen newborn human babies, the youngest now being almost 15, this kitten fills a mothering need in me which probably will never stop. But since I really don't want to adopt another baby, Sweetie is just what I needed.

I'll post pix of him once all the special olympics photos get downloaded and I can use the camera again.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Work is Love Made Visible

The above pic is from a field trip Dad and the kids took to the local therapeutic rec center. This county has come a long way. Twenty two years ago you wouldn't have seen or even dreamed of a center like this for special needs citizens.

I'm reading mystery/thriller novel by Jefferson Bass. It's one in a series of books about The Body Farm, which is a real place in TN where forensic scientists place dead bodies out in this farm under different circumstances to gather information on how bodies decay. Sounds yucky, but it's not.

But I found a line in there that I had to copy down.

"Work is Love Made Visible."

Seems like a saying that fits most special needs adoptive families. Don't you think? Next time you are grumbling about working so hard, think instead that you are loving so hard...

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The Futility of Arguing

I love my morning email messages from Neale Donald Walsch. They very much feel like they are coming straight from God or Jesus. They calm me down every time I read them, and set the tone for my day. I needed this one that came this morning, with some of the things that are going on here.

"On this day of your life, Dusty, I believe God wants you to know...

....that the best argument you can make is no argument

at all.

Do not argue with life, or with anyone in life. Life

presents itself perfectly in every moment, and every

person believes his or her point of view to be valid

and 'right.'

Arguing with any of this is pointless, and a terrific

waste of energy. Simply create what you choose next.

You will not have to think but a second to know

exactly why you received this message today."

Scroll down to the bottom right on Neale's home page to subscribe to the daily messages.

What ya gonna do?

Got a phone call last night from the special ed high school teacher where six of my kids are in her class. She wanted to ask me to keep Will home from school today because they were going on a field trip and he has in the past pooped his pants on the bus home. Now, Will is 20 and has Down Syndrome and is not my highest functioning child.

So I said, why don't you have someone take him to the bathroom before he gets on the bus. She didn't think that would work. I said, well I don't think that the fact that he might poop his pants on the way home is a justifiable reason to keep him home.

I didn't say that it was also illegal, and that she wasn't asking the mother of the kid who has a lot of seizures requiring medical attention to keep HER son home because he MIGHT have a seizure. Or asking the dad of the boy who runs away, gets in unlocked cars and drives away to the next county, to keep his son home. Just my son who might poop his pants.

So now she's ticked off at me. Too bad. Three more years and my kids will be out of high school. They can legally stay in school until the year in which they turn 22, but I see no purpose in that. I'll be putting them each into a transition academy to train for a job as soon as they graduate. They just aren't learning anything new in this high school. They are just putting in time.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Back from Special Olympics

My carefree weekend came to an end yesterday at noon when the big red bus brought everyone home. They all had a great time, and earned lots of medals and ribbons.

It's funny what's important to each child, and how different those things are. Staying in a hotel is THE biggest thing. The S.O. events are secondary. And when asked what was her favorite part, 23 yr old Jennifer said the scrambled eggs and applesauce they had for breakfast.

Still all did not go well, concerning the two usual suspects, Jeremy and Will. They made my adult dd Wendy so upset that she probably won't go on another SO trip. Will is so stubborn, and just too large to do anything with when he gets that way. Jeremy was reported to have been HORRIFIC. (And I'm sure he really WAS.)

In short, I'm glad I didn't go. But sorry for the way my two boys acted.

Ross, 15, however, found a new girlfriend. Unfortunately she's from the farthest away part of this state. But such a pretty girl, and he took her to the dance Saturday night. He says that was the best part.

Washing machine is busted. Can't get anyone out here on the warranty until Thursday. arrgh.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Total Quiet Here

Well the kids and my husband and two of our adult children got on the big ole tour bus this AM to go to state Special Olympics. Such excitement!

I didn't go. I can't sit on those bleachers and there is a LOT of sitting to do at Special O. So I'm all by myself if you don't count Jack the German Shepherd and Daisy and Clifford the bedroom cats (they rarely come out of the master BR...)

I simply do not think there has ever been a time when I was totally by myself before in 40 years of marriage. So I decided I'd see how I would be able to live on my own, Go forbid, that I HAD to.

So I came home from taking the big van to the bus stop and did a lot of computer work, and then went out in the little van to the library to pick up some books, then to Walmart to get some more $5 shorts for myself. And bought some things for my dinner-roast beef, corn on the cob and potatoe salad. Then I came home, fed the dog and walked him, watched Dr. Phil until I couldn't stand it any more. Watched Oprah giving away stuff again until I couldn't stand that either.

Then I made corn on the cob and potato salad and ate that.
(I'm saving the roast beef for later.) I figure I'll read one of the library books until I fall asleep tonight, then go to a garage sale that is for our family benefit tomorrow AM. (I thought this would be a little affair that a group of realtors put together, but I called down there today and they have THREE ROOMS filled with donated stuff for the sale!)

So in answer to my initial purpose of the day, I now know that if I were all alone I'd spend a lot of time at the grocery store finding just the right dinner for me (something that takes a very few minutes of decision for the entire family...) I'd watch bad TV, I'd read books and walk the dog.

So yeah, I COULD survive on my own, but what exactly would I be working for? What would I be working toward? What would I be planning? Nothing. Without the kids and my husband, what would I be looking forward to? Why would I want to decorate, or even try to make money?

And I think about my one grandmother, who after the death of her husband, my grandfather, spent 30 some years in a tiny apartment knitting and watching TV. And I didn't go to see her or call her nearly as often as I would now, if she were still alive.

Yes, large families are noisy, boisterous and busy, but at least I know what we're working for, what we are working toward. The successful lives of all our kids.

Thursday, May 8, 2008


I should know better... We are facing some nasty money problems of late. And I've been dwelling on the negative and getting more negative. You need a loan, but you have to pay off this before you can get it, but you can't pay off this until you get the loan... Catch 22.

But it could just as well be you. If you are facing raging kids or any negative situation these words are for you...and for ME especially!

"You will notice that those who speak most of prosperity, have it. Those who speak most of anger and frustration, have it. Those who speak most of health, have it. Those who speak most of sickness, have it. Those who speak most of poverty, have it.

It is Law. It can be no other way... The way you feel is your point of attraction, and so, the Law of Attraction is most understood when you see yourself as a magnet getting more and more of the way you feel.

When you feel lonely, you attract more loneliness. When you are angry and upset you attract more anger and upsetting situations.
When you feel poor, you attract more poverty. When you feel sick, you attract more sickness. When you feel unhappy, you attract more unhappiness.

When you feel healthy and vital and alive and prosperous—you attract more of all of those things. "

I should have known better. You get what you attract.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Doing the Troops Wrong

There is a bill in congress to extend the benefits of returning soldiers much like we did after WWII. It's really an investment in this country's future. The Bush administration opposes it, and so does Senator John McCain. Huh? Not supporting the troops ??

When 40 cents out of every tax dollar is now spent on the Iraq War, BILLIONS being spent on that war. Extending the benefits of returning soldiers is a drop in that bucket. Yet Bush and McCain oppose the bill.

Read about it here.

In Home Treatment for RAD

I just ran across this digitally delivered article that I thought someone might be interested in.

In-home treatment of reactive attachment disorder in a therapeutic foster care system: a case example. (Practice).: An article from: Journal of Mental Health Counseling [HTML] (Digital)
by Carl J. Sheperis (Author), Edina L. Renfro-Michel (Author), R. Anthony Doggett (Author)

It's just $5.95 and has a case study. When I still had RAD kids I wanted all the info I could get my hands on. I was that desperate.

Monday, May 5, 2008

People amaze me

Back on Dec 1 I posted about a new book on RAD. I included a review by RW, who gave a glowing report about this book. He/she freely gave Amazon permission to publish that review...and yet this person demands that I must IMMEDIATELY remove his/her comment from my blog.

If this person didn't want anyone to read his/her review, why even give it to Amazon? What's up with that?

I deleted the post, Mr/Ms.W. Though I have no idea why your book review on my blog was in any way damaging to you. I thought it was a great review and wanted my readers to see it.

But, you'll have to ask Amazon to delete it from THEIR pages. Good luck with that.

Sunday, May 4, 2008


Early in the week I got a call from a news lady who said that the people at Special Olympics had told her to come interview my son, Ross about the upcoming state games. So, loving SO, and wanting to support them I said yes. Since it was just a newspaper story I figured no big deal.

She asked me about Ross and how he liked SO and I told her I had 8 other kids involved as well. So she wanted to know how I ended up with 9 handicapped kids, and I remarked that we had actually ended up with 21 kids. So there was the usual, "How do you handle that?" kind of discussion. You know. "you sure are special people." Special, right....

So we made an appointment for the newspaper lady to come out on Sunday AM for the interview. Only when they got here it was a TV crew. ARRGH. We've done TV interviews before and the almost always get something wrong, or put words in our mouths.

Now they wanted to do a blurb that mixed mother's day and Special Olympics and call it Super Mom and he Super Kids. I absolutely didn't want that and there is nothing super about us or the kids. We are an average family only larger.

So they talked with me and my husband and filmed the kids playing soccer. Jeremy got obnoxious, and they interviewed Jay. I have NO IDEA how the story will turn out, but I sure hope it isn't sappy.

And hey, you never know, maybe some wealthy person will see it and pay our 2007 property taxes... You never know. Wish us luck with this one...

Friday, May 2, 2008

Thanks for the prayers

My brother is doing fine and is home from the hospital. I wish I could take the pain away from him, though...

Here's a timely message from Neale Donald Walsch that I got in email today. (You can sign up to get daily inspirational emails at his website,

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know...
....that how bad things may look right now means nothing.
It's how good you know they can look with God's help
that counts.

Life has a habit of changing itself completely around in
24 hours. Heck, in 24 minutes sometimes.

Don't you dare give up on Tomorrow because of the
way things look Today. Don't even think about it...

Love, Your Friend....Neale Donald Walsch