Continuation Day

This is why I have no fear of anything. Neale Donald Walsch sums it up very well:

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On this day of your life, Friend, I believe God wants you to know...

....that there is a family reunion awaiting you, and you will be more overjoyed than you can now begin to imagine.

On the day you leave your body -- what I like to call your Continuation Day -- you will be greeted by everyone you have ever loved in any way for any reason...and, standing in front of the group, every person who has been so very dear to you. It will be a grand and glorious reunion, with joy and laughter and pure wonderment filling every heart and soul!

This has also been experienced by everyone who has ever left here -- all those who have gone before you -- of course. So do not grieve for them. They are so very happy! I'm not sure why you were meant to hear this on this particular day...but I bet you are...

Love, Your Friend....

http://www.nealedonaldwalsch.com

This life we are leading here is just temporary. No matter what life sends your way, you can handle it, knowing that the best is yet to come.

I'm Blessed

You know, I live with six children who have Down Syndrome, Matt, 24, Jen, 24, Will, 21, Emily 20, Robin 19, and Jeremy, 16. Add in my beautiful daughter Danielle who is almost 18, who is a super premie (22 weeker) coke baby,and Ross and Jay, 16 year old spina bifida kids.

I just truly feel blessed to have these people as a part of my family. Tonight I'm sitting here at my computer, and dad has gone out for milk. I've had four people come out and ask me where Dad was and when he was coming home. They miss him already.

We've never had drug problems with this group of kids. None of them has ever snuck out a window in the middle of the night to go joyriding with their buddies. None of them has ever tried to smoke or drink. They listen to reason when you explain things (mostly!)

They are so happy to be together as a family. They enjoy their own company sitting around a table than anything else. Laughing and talking together.

They tell Dad and I daily that they love us. They aren't concerned about getting into college. They talk on the phone with their friends like any other kids. They go to parties with their friends. The adults get up and go to work, like every other adult around, without griping. In fact you have major trouble getting them to stay home when they are sick.

Waking them up is often difficult, but they all LOVE to go to school and work. They are not slackers. They do their chores without argument. They don't mind hand me down or thrift shop clothing. Fashion means little to them.

They will eat anything that's put on their plates. Including veggies, like broccoli and salads. They don't demand the latest gimos, and don't have to learn to drive a car.

They are HAPPY most of the time. And when they are sad, they accept our hugs and help.

My other ( normal) children from our first parenting efforts are all successful, two are married, with a total of four beautiful grandchildren. They have grown into amazing people that I'm proud to call my children. But they took far more out of me emotionally. Normal kids are scary to raise. So many ways for them to go astray or get hurt. But they all made it.

What the heck more could I want? I have a wonderful husband of almost 41 years whom I adore. A huge home that fits us. Food on the table and medical care when we need it.

Dear Lord, I am blessed. I am blessed beyond belief.

The family caravan

Just got back from "lunch" at Max and Erma's. First time for us. As usual it took forever to get out of the house, then decided on who would go with which of the four drivers. Then the inevitable stop on the way in the police station parking lot to exchange drivers, and one particular misbehaving kid. But we all got there.

Thank God we have two handicapped stickers so it's easy to find parking. And once sitting, they were excellent, as per usual. This was only with 14 people, so not bad. and miraculously there was no need for another stop on the side of the road for kid exchange or anger management on the way home.

I do so like these real restaurant trips. The kids all behave beautifully, even wonder boy. I'm not real fond of the bill, though :)

If you get a chance to take the family to Max and Erma, they will let your big kids order from the kid menu, and the extra drinks are free. And we came away with about 12 new plastic cups!

When we were loading up in the parking lot the manager ran out and handed us a stack of free coupons for cookies or ice cream for next time. Hope he isn't holding his breath. It's not likely we'll do that again until, say, Thanksgiving...

What's wrong with this adoption story?

This is a quiz for adoptive parents. How many things can you find wrong with this story?

I was reading a book by Barbara Delinski called "Suddenly." It's about a busy female doctor who is single and owns her own home. She is in practice with her best friend, also a female MD and another guy.

Her best friend, Mara, kills herself one night. She had been in the process of adopting a baby girl from India. After the funeral the heroine is cleaning out her friend's house when there is a knock at the door.

It's a lady who has brought the baby from India and because Mara didn't show up to pick the baby up at the airport, she has driven out to Mara's house. The heroine (whose name I can't recall, she was so impressive) tells the lady that Mara is dead. The heroine didn't even know her best friend was to get her new baby so quickly.

The social worker or travel lady tells our girl that she will have to take the baby back. Wait, she says, Can I be her foster mother?

The social worker says Oh I don't know. But since she is an MD, and therefore a good choice, the worker makes one phone call to headquarters and allows the baby to stay with this MD as the foster parent. She packs up the baby and takes her to her own home.

Now, this doctor also teaches track at a local private school. One of her students has gotten herself pregnant at I think 16, and he parents have dumped her. So this bright MD sees an opportunity and tells the girl she can live with her in exchange for child care.

So while the MD works long hours, goes to the private school and coaches running, and carries on an affair with the president of the school, this poor scared prego girl sits at home with the baby girl, from early AM until the wee hours of the night.

It was at this point that I threw in the towel.

OK, how many real life inconsistencies can you find?

$3100 for dental care for one kid?

Friday my husband took Matthew, 24, who has Down Syndrome over an hour away out of the county to the only dental place who would knock him out, pull two teeth and fix 7 others.

He did fine, but man, it sucks to have to pay that much. I can think of TONS of things that we could have used that money for.

The problem is that while medicaid for kids has a wonderful dental program that fixes everything for no cost, the adult medicaid has a dental plan that will pull out tooth a year and fill one tooth with a silver filling only per year.

Dentists don't use silver anymore. We bought a dental discount card, but it only would have been of value if Matt could hold still for having two molars extracted and the other 7 drilled and filled.

Wasn't gonna happen. So we took all of the $2250 that we got through the government's economic recovery payment to people on SSI, and $850 of our own cash and had his work down in the next county.

Now I'm glad he got his teeth fixed. But I'm angry that adults with developmental disabilities who don't qualify for private insurance have to go without dental care. So many of the people who work alongside Matt and Jennifer at the Hab Center have missing teeth. I mean, if medicaid can do it for kids with disabilities, why can't they also do it for adults with disabilities?

My Happiness Depends on ME

Found a quote this AM that helps me. So often I blame others for the way I'm feeling. If I'm angry or stressed I blame others, but it's not so.

"Tell everyone you know: "My happiness depends on me, so you're off the hook." And then demonstrate it.

Be happy, no matter what they're doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel -- and then, you'll love them all. Because the only reason you don't love them, is because you're using them as your excuse to not feel good."

Equestrian SPecial Olympics

The end of May my husband and I escorted 6 of our kids to Tampa for the state equestrian event for special olympics. Matt, Jennifer, Emily, Robin, Danielle, and Jeremy went.

It was a pleasant trip over there by bus, where Emily got locked in the bathroom and couldn't get out. The driver didn't have the key to the bathroom so he had to take a screwdriver to the lock to get her out. She was frantic.

The hotel was great, but everyone was so tired by then end of the day, that we showered and hopped into bed and went right to sleep.

Special Olympics is a marvelous organization. Everyone is a winner. It's a great time for socializing with others and making new friends. I made a new friend there as well. A woman who runs some group homes locally brought a couple of her residents with her to the games.

This was good for me. I have had a real fear, no, call it dread, of my adult children going into group homes. We had always thought we'd simply turn this home into a group home eventually, but that probably isn't going to happen. Meeting Theresa was good for me, because I could see how happy her clients were and how well they were treated. And that she actually made sure that they participated in events like this. I think I can do it now.

It's never easy to have a child grow up and leave home. It's even harder when the child who is becoming and adult can't really take care of themselves. Knowing that there are loving homes out there makes it all easier.